One tiny word can totally change how you see yourself and what you can do. That word is “yet.” I welcome it all the time, especially when I am lost for words. It might seem simple, but adding “yet” to the end of a sentence flips the script in your brain. Instead of closing a door, it opens a window and lets in a little fresh air of possibility.
What Makes “Yet” So Powerful?
The more I practiced saying yet, the more I noticed a switch up in my approach. Without “yet,” statements like “I’m not good at math” or “I can’t run a mile” sound final. They don’t leave any room for change. Add “yet,” and the story changes: “I’m not good at math yet.” “I can’t run a mile yet.” Suddenly, it’s not about failing; it’s about progress and learning.
Carol Dweck, the most prominent psychologist in this area, talks a lot about the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset believe skills can get better with effort and time. “Yet” is a word straight out of the growth mindset playbook. For me, just adding it quietly to my thoughts helps remind me that I’m a work in progress, and that’s the way to go.
How “Yet” Changes the Game for Self-Talk
The way we talk to ourselves matters more than most people realize. I regularly catch myself with negative self-talk, saying things like “I am suck here” or “I’m not able to do more.” That kind of thinking tends to make me want to give up. The word “yet” acts as a little reminder that learning takes time, and struggling isn’t the end of the story.
- “I haven’t overcome this… yet.” This sentence signals that with time and effort, understanding is within reach.
- “I haven’t improved upon this… yet.” Progress might be slow, but it’s not impossible.
- “I can’t cook that dish… yet.” No need to feel embarrassed if something’s out of reach right now.
Every time I use “yet,” I feel a little more patient with myself. It’s a casual way to press pause on beating myself up and provides a much-needed boost of patience and hope.
Practical Ways to Start Using “Yet”
So, how can you actually put “yet” to work?
- Notice when you feel stuck. If you say something like “I’m just not a morning person” or “I can’t solve this problem,” pause for a second.
- Add “yet” and say it out loud. This might feel awkward at first, but it really helps the message sink in.
- Jot it down somewhere. I keep a little sticky note on my desk that just says “yet”—it’s goofy, but it works as a reminder.
I found that “yet” is especially helpful during tough weeks, when everything feels a bit like a mess. It gently reminds me that effort and time are part of the deal.
Real Life Examples: Where “Yet” Works Wonders
Plenty of situations get a boost from “yet.” Here’s where I’ve seen it make a difference, both for myself and people around me:
- Learning a Skill: I struggled when I started learning guitar. Instead of “I can’t play guitar chords,” I started saying “I can’t play guitar chords yet.” I kept at it without so much frustration, knowing improvement is part of the adventure.
- Fitness Goals: Running a full mile without stopping felt impossible. I changed the story I told myself to “I can’t run a mile without stopping yet.” That little word made trying again feel less intimidating.
- Work and Studies: When facing a project that’s over my head, adding “yet” to the end of “I don’t understand this” keeps the pressure off and helps me keep showing up, rather than backing away from a challenge.
Using “yet” doesn’t magically make things easier. It does switch my thinking enough that I stay motivated and open to learning.
Tips for Making “Yet” a Habit
Getting used to “yet” is a bit of a process, but here’s what helped me:
- Keep “Yet” in View: Put a note on your phone’s wallpaper, your fridge, or your planner. Simple reminders help keep it top of mind.
- Buddy System: Tell a friend or family member about the idea. You can laugh together when one of you forgets and encourage each other to use “yet.” Sharing these small wins turns it into a fun challenge rather than a chore.
- Celebrate Progress: Track the small wins where you move from “not yet” to “now I can.” Even tiny progress counts. Reflection journals or apps like Day One are handy for this. Remembering these little successes can inspire you during tough times.
None of these require a complete lifestyle overhaul. It’s about sprinkling “yet” into your routine when it fits, until it feels natural. Over time, using “yet” can start to feel automatic—even in moments of frustration or self-doubt.
Common Obstacles: Why We Skip “Yet”
I’ve noticed it’s pretty easy to leave out “yet” and fall into old patterns, even after realizing how useful “yet” can be. Sometimes, frustration or embarrassment gets in the way. Other times, old habits of criticizing myself pop up without me noticing.
- Impatience: Wanting quick results makes it harder to stick with growth-minded thinking, and the need for instant outcomes can make “yet” feel slow or ineffective.
- Perfectionism: Feeling like you need to do everything right the first time can close the door to patience and practice.
- Comparison: Social media can make it feel like everyone else gets things right away, making “yet” seem less believable. It’s a trap to think you’re falling behind just because progress isn’t posting-perfect every day.
Each time I catch those thoughts, I try to reset. I remind myself that no one starts off as an expert at anything. The point of “yet” isn’t to hand out empty encouragement; it’s to keep me willing to practice and learn each day, step by step.
When “Yet” Feels Pointless
Sometimes, adding “yet” doesn’t switch how you feel right away. If you’re going through something big, like failing a test, not getting a job, or hitting a wall with a creative project, it can sound hollow at first. That’s okay. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine; it’s about giving yourself a tiny mental nudge to keep the door open. If it helps, combine “yet” with a plan: “I can’t do this yet, but I can try again tomorrow.” With more practice, “yet” gets easier to believe.
Quick Experiment: Try the “Yet” Challenge
Catching yourself using fixed statements is actually pretty eye-opening. Here’s an easy challenge to get you started:
- Catch yourself saying or thinking, “I can’t…” or “I’m not good at…” at least once this week.
- Write down or say the full sentence, then add “yet” to the end.
- Spend two minutes thinking about how that one word changes the feeling for you. Does it help you feel a bit more optimistic? Less stressed?
I found this exercise surprisingly effective in switching my mood and mindset, even on tough days when I feel stuck.
Frequently Asked Questions about “Yet”
Question: Is “yet” just positive thinking?
Answer: Not really. “Yet” isn’t about wishful thinking or pretending everything is good. It focuses on the possibility of improvement, based on effort and learning, not just “looking on the bright side.”
Question: Are there times when “yet” doesn’t help?
Answer: If you’re dealing with setbacks that feel overwhelming, it’s totally normal for “yet” to feel weak. Sometimes other approaches, like taking a break or asking for help, are more useful at first. But “yet” is pretty handy for nudging yourself back to a more open mindset.
Question: Can I use “yet” with others, not just myself?
Answer: Absolutely. It works great in conversations with friends, family, or kids. Swapping “You can’t do this” for “You can’t do this yet” supports others’ learning, too. Using “yet” can help empower people around you to keep trying, no matter how tough something seems.
Small Word, Big Change
So many things in life—learning, work, even relationships—run smoother when you keep an open mind about growth and progress. Using “yet” gives me a small, practical way to fight back against frustration and keep trying. There’s no pressure to be perfect; just permission to be a work in progress, which is really important if you want to keep learning and getting better at anything.
Keep “yet” in your toolkit and see how it changes the way you talk to yourself.